Episode 66: AuDHD Strategic Vulnerability, Setting Boundaries, & Safe Social Connections w/ Coach Lee Hopkins
This episode was recorded in January of this year (yes I know I’m a bit behind)... It was so nice to re-listen to this conversation and reflect on everything that we’ve both accomplished this year! You are a rockstar, Lee!!!
This week, we get into how you actually build authentic adult friendships as a late-identified neurodivergent adult.
We talk about AuDHD social connection, setting boundaries, and unmasking, especially for late-identified autistic and ADHD adults trying to navigate relationships.
Curious what else is inside:
Small talk as a low-stakes “vibe check” for safety rather than a demand for deep intimacy
Using “strategic vulnerability” to test compatibility and process rejection without self-blame
Framing boundaries around controlling your own environment rather than changing others
There are so many little learning moments in this conversation… like the one where I really wished I had put my foot in my mouth instead of asking the question I asked. 😂
Lee’s response was such a good example of what respectful curiosity can look like in practice.
Or like when we talk about breathwork and sympathetic vs parasympathetic activation… just telling someone to breathe is not helpful if that person does not know how to breathe for their mental health.
This episode might resonate if you:
Struggle with small talk or constantly second-guess social interactions
Are a late-identified autistic or ADHD adult looking for safe community
Find yourself over-explaining, fearing boundaries, or shutting down during emotional processing
This is something I see a lot in coaching too. So many neurodivergent adults spend decades hiding their true needs, fearing rejection, and burning out to keep everyone else comfortable.
If that is you, remember that sharing who you are isn’t a demand for others to change for you, it’s just giving the right people a chance to spot you.
If you’re looking for support with that: 👉 ndreportpod.com/coaching
Looking for Coach Lee Hopkins?
Check out upcoming events here: https://www.patternsofpossibility.com/events
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