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The ADHD Field Guide for Adults: Grief, Identity Shifts, & Radical Self-Acceptance

Updated: Apr 8

Featuring: Cate Osborn & Eric Gude

Authors of "The ADHD Field Guide for Adults"


What happens when you finally get the thing you’ve worked toward for years before you suddenly realize you can’t sustain it?


This conversation dives into the grief, identity shifts, and radical self-honesty at the heart of the ADHD experience.


Understanding the ADHD Journey


Living with ADHD can feel like navigating a winding road. Each twist and turn brings new challenges and revelations. In this episode, we explore the unique experiences of Cate and Eric, who share their personal journeys and insights.


The Tower Moment


Cate’s 2018 medical crisis and late ADHD diagnosis reframed her entire life. Meanwhile, Eric’s teenage realization that effort alone couldn’t override his brain shattered his “mind over matter” narrative. These pivotal moments shaped their understanding of themselves and their ADHD.


The Identity Grief Spiral


From dreams of being a Shakespeare professor to pivoting to a professional sourdough baker, we unpack the heartbreak of loving something deeply — and still having to let it go. It’s a tough but necessary part of the journey.


The Field Guide Framework


Their book is designed as a non-linear, shame-free resource. It teaches readers how to name their wants, needs, strengths, and limits. This approach moves away from one-size-fits-all solutions, allowing for a more personalized experience.


Protecting Your Peace


We discuss the importance of radical patience — with yourself, with neurotypicals, and with the parts of you that are still learning. Plus, we highlight the power of asking directly for what you want without apology. It’s all about finding your voice and advocating for your needs.


The Very Human Stuff


We share relatable anecdotes, from Wednesday Addams airport pickups to Renaissance festivals. There are ungraded papers from 10 years ago, sourdough at 3 AM, and the simple act of touching grass and trees to regulate. We also touch on the fear of liking something too much. These moments remind us of our shared humanity.


Key Questions Answered in the Audio


  1. Why does life with ADHD feel like an ongoing cycle of grief and reinvention?

  2. How do you tell the difference between “this is hard” and “this isn’t for me”?

  3. What does it actually mean to be a fearless student of your own brain?


Resources Mentioned


Conclusion


This episode is a treasure trove of insights and experiences. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone in our journeys. Embracing our unique paths can lead to greater understanding and acceptance.


Connect With Us!


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Let’s continue this conversation and support each other on our journeys.

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