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Episode 51: Am I Neurodivergent?

Updated: Mar 3

Struan's Story of Diagnosis & Identity Reformation



Featuring: Struan Mackenzie, former UK civil servant & creator of the YouTube channel Am I Neurodivergent?



This is a conversation about burnout, identity collapse, and reformation.


In this episode, we explore:

  • The Late Diagnosis: From a stress breakdown to a deep dive into autism research. Struan suddenly realized that his entire life made sense.

  • The Identity Reformation: Another non-linear journey of diagnosis. Struan transitioned from ASD to combined-type ADHD, and eventually discovered AuDHD. He shares how each diagnosis both clarified and destabilized his sense of self, including the process of deconstructing internalized ableism.

  • Protecting Your Peace: Struan discusses scripting work meetings for hours during COVID and redefining his relationship with alcohol and social energy. He’s learning to honor his nervous system instead of pushing through it.

  • The Unexpected Human Detail: Struan reflects on childhood quirks, like lining up toy cars in perfect order or hiding inside a bookcase. These behaviors went unrecognized at the time but now read like a neon sign for autism.


Key Questions Answered in the Audio:

  1. Why were so many high-achieving neurodivergent adults missed in childhood, especially in the 70s, 80s, and 90s?

  2. What does cyclical burnout actually look like, and where does it come from?

  3. How does alcohol uniquely affect autistic and ADHD nervous systems, and why does the crash hit so hard?


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Understanding Neurodivergence


Neurodivergence is a term that encompasses a variety of neurological differences. This includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. Each of these conditions presents unique challenges and strengths. Understanding these differences is crucial for fostering a supportive environment.


The Importance of Late Diagnosis


Many neurodivergent individuals receive their diagnoses later in life. This can lead to feelings of relief but also confusion. For Struan, the late diagnosis was a pivotal moment. It allowed him to connect the dots of his past experiences. He realized that many of his struggles were linked to his neurodivergent traits.


Identity and Self-Understanding


Identity is fluid, especially for those who are neurodivergent. Struan's journey through various diagnoses illustrates this beautifully. Each label brought clarity but also new challenges. It’s essential to embrace this complexity and understand that identity is not fixed.


Navigating Burnout


Burnout is a common experience for neurodivergent individuals. Struan's insights into cyclical burnout shed light on this issue. Recognizing the signs of burnout can help in managing it effectively. It’s about finding balance and learning to listen to your body.


Alcohol and Neurodivergence


The relationship between alcohol and neurodivergence is complex. Struan discusses how alcohol affects his nervous system. Understanding this can help others make informed choices about their consumption. It’s important to prioritize mental health and well-being.


Embracing Quirks


Struan's childhood quirks are a reminder of the uniqueness of neurodivergent individuals. These behaviors, often dismissed, are part of what makes each person special. Embracing these quirks can lead to greater self-acceptance and understanding.


Building a Supportive Community


Creating a supportive community is vital for neurodivergent individuals. Sharing experiences, like Struan does, fosters understanding and reduces stigma. It’s about building connections and supporting one another on this journey.


Conclusion


Struan's story is one of resilience and discovery. His journey through diagnosis and identity reformation is inspiring. It reminds us that understanding ourselves is a lifelong process. We can learn from each other and grow together.



In this article, I hope you found insights that resonate with your own experiences. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Embrace your uniqueness and continue to seek understanding.

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